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Sometimes, when I'm not paying any attention because I'm reading a novel. Exercising cleaning house eating nachos, reality hits me over the head and I wonder to myself, "What on Earth am I doing here?" Why have I packed up and left my hometown and nice house and family members to cram myself into a little cabin that has no bath tub or dishwasher or central air conditioning? Why am I sitting in a little chair in a little room with little fan?

Why?

Because I have big dreams...

Because the birds here already know my name. The grass recognizes my footsteps. The trees celebrate my touch. The sky welcomes my wishes.

And everything that was ever important about the road behind me is now but a memory. Another life.

As much as I tried to deny it, there was always that pressure of trying to be like everyone else. That little voice that said, " You must wear cute clothes, buy nice dishes, carry a cool purse, impress the neighbors and expand your circle of friends."
Did any of those things actually make me happy? First of all, cute clothes on a fifty- something woman is about as easy to come by as a giant sack of gold. Nice dishes did not make meatloaf taste any better, I never found a cute purse for less than $80, and when it came right down to the truth- my neighbors didn't care whether I drove a rusty pickup truck or a scooter. As long as I minded my business, mowed my yard and kept my music at a pleasant volume.

As for friends? Lots of friends don't make you a better person. They just make you a popular person. And I find that the less people you have to please on a daily basis makes it easier to focus on true kindness.
Plus, I've come to realize that some people just can't handle simple, no-drama, no-frills, no-bendingoverbackwardtomakeanimpression. They are too intent on finding that fabulous purse.
Or being something they believe will make them happy.

I am happy here. Truly.
I go barefoot everyday, wear my pajama pants till after my evening shower, let my hair dry naturally,
and wrap myself in the sweetness of nature.

Have you ever really seen a bluebird up close? The color is intense, glowing, bluer than the bluest sky you've ever witnessed. It takes your breath away. It is life with wings.

Have you ever sat in a lawn chair at night and let the darkness embrace you? But then, instead of being afraid, you look up at that giant umbrella of stars and peace fills your veins. Gratitude gives you goosebumps. God gives you reasons to be here.

Have you ever heard the music of wind through the pine trees, the ping of raindrops on a tin roof, seen the clouds of dust that wrens kick up during their bath?

Have you ever stared with amazement of how high and fluffy and white the clouds can be, how graceful a simple buzzard can fly, how wonderfully noisy a quiet night can be?

I would be missing all of this if I had stayed in my house, my hometown, my familiar path. I would not be the recipient of big dreams, small adventures and life as it was meant to be. My only regret is that I didn't do this when I was 25. Or 30. Or even last year....

Sometimes, when I'm not paying attention, reality hits me over the head... and I realize I am finally home.