Leila, The Encourager

According to a Facebook status the other day, my sister in law accompanied a friend to the ER at 1:00 in the morning. Leila had been sleeping, all snugly and dreaming and resting up for the day ahead. But she got up, got dressed, and did what a good friend does.

This made me pause for a moment. It was so like Leila to give of herself unselfishly, to smile and encourage and be the strong shoulder, the kind word...the true friend.

When I look upon my life, I have never been that type of person. I've never been the kind of friend who shares late night coffee, shopping trips, fresh baked bread ( or portions of a good nights sleep.)
I have always been too private, too lazy, and too insecure to be a good friend. At best I am mediocre.

No one calls me at 1:00 am. They know better. They know my shoulder is a bit cold, my words a little shaky, my smile sometimes forced. I'm the kind of friend people call when they need to know about some fancy kind of font, what color I painted my foyer, and how I made that scary pumpkin last Halloween.

Truth be known, I have never had many friends. Maybe it's because I grew up in a large family. Because my brothers and sisters were my world for so many years. And then when I met my husband and got married, I stopped reaching out. I stopped finding time.

And when I did make a new friend, I soon found faults in them. I got bored with our conversations or became too weary to keep up. I didn't want to take the effort to be a good friend. I'm not a leader, a supporter, or like my sister in law Leila, an encourager.

Don't get me wrong. I've always wished I could be (and have) the kind of friend that picks up an extra bottle of nail polish because I know a friend who would love it, who bakes dozen cookies to drop off unexpectedly on their doorstep, who asks their opinions in the dressing room, who shares secrets and dreams ...and doesn't mind when they are woken in the middle of a deep sleep to join someone at the ER.

Lately I have been thinking I've dropped the ball. That God may judge me someday. Ask me why I wasn't the best friend that I could possibly be. Why wasn't I a Good Samaritan, a faithful servant, a unselfish soul? Why wasn't I dependable, reachable, likable? Why wasn't I a needed presence, a helping hand, a treasure to someone? Where was my soft shoulder, my gentle words, my testimony? Why did I stop short of creating solid friendships?

All I know is that friends like Leila are rare and priceless. That if you are -or have- a friend like her, then you are blessed beyond words. Because friendship is something that must be nurtured. Kneaded like bread in order to expand and grow. Tended daily in your heart of hearts.

Thank you, Leila,for being my friend as well as my sister in law. For always having that bright smile, that positive energy, that available shoulder..
And mostly,that gracious love.